***Warning: Extremely graphic images and clips of the vagina, breast and other lady parts. This blog post also includes Inappropriate language. If any of this makes you uncomfortable please do not continue to scroll and read.***
Unfortunately, there are women who still don't masturbate, in 2017! Can you believe that!? This is so bizarre to me. Either they don't know how, they don't feel comfortable, or they don't get off when doing it; mainly because they are doing it wrong. It is definitely something you have to grow and learn to be better at. It takes a lot of focus, relaxation, love for yourself, and a freaky soul. I'm going to share some tips, that work for me and has worked for other women I know. As well as share my personal experiences that I think might be useful for you.
What Do I Enjoy?
When I play with myself I listen to very sensual, soft, and sexy music to get me completely in the mood. I become relaxed and turned on, my vaginal walls begin to secrete more fluid, she gets warmer, and I begin to feel my clit grow/get harder. I talk to myself like I'm my own hype woman, and I also flood myself with compliments. Most of the time I'm imagining someone I love having sex with and talk to them in my head or out loud, a significant other, or someone I have an intense desire to please me. I will more than likely have porn playing. Not to necessarily watch, but to hear fucking noises and moans other than my own. Not only does this make solo sex so much more fun, it gives you the opportunity to fall in love with yourself. Spending quality, intimate time alone, in addition to satisfying yourself. You may not cum the first time, or even the 4th time; but you will have a deeper love for yourself.
Things to Say to Yourself When Having Solo Sex
I normally refer to myself in second person, because I'm having sex with myself and talking to myself as if I was another person. I also respond sometimes like a crazy person one would say lol.
Some compliments I use, and things I say are:
"You're so wet, and juicy."
"Yes, you're so good."
"You're so amazing"
"More, more more, don't stop."
"You sexy beast!"
"This feels so good."
"I love you so much."
"Cum for me"
"Yes yes yes, right there! You got it."
"You're the best!"
I'm telling you, the more you gas yourself up, the more into it you'll become. It helps keep your mind focused so you don't wander off into irrelevant topics.
Get In The Mood
Get yourself alone.
Turn on some music
Dim the lights
Light a candle, burn an incent
Play with yourself, and not just your vagina
-Rub on your nipples
-Squeeze your breast
-Caress your thighs
Close your eyes and breathe
-If you feel your mind drifting away to stressful topics, simple just refocus your attention by breathing and counting up to 10 in your head, and then start over as needed.
Grab some lube to help get you lubricated
-I love to use coconut oil! I massage it on my vagina, and rub in on my dildo.
Play with the external of your vagina
-Play with the lips, pull on your inner labia, squeeze them a little.
-Gently massage the entire external
My Masturbation Playlist
Get in the mood listening to some real sensual sexy music. Lay in your bed, on the couch, in a chair, wherever! And while the music plays, move your hips to the beat, grind a little bit, rub all over your body, think about someone special, put a subtle smile on your face, breathe in through your nose, and exhale with a soft moan, lick your lips, and be sexy.
Hopefully I put you on some new songs, and you find these melodies just as sexy as I do. Add them to your own special playlist on Apple Music, Spotify, or Google Play.
1. The Line - Dvsn
2. Any Time, Any Place - Janet Jackson
3. So Good - Marsha Ambrosius
4. Love Inside - BJ the Chicago Kid
5. Tell Me - Usher
6. Unravel Me - Sabrina Claudio
7. Violet - Daniel Caesar
8. Hold Me - Janine
9. Red Rum Melody - Tiffany Gouche
10. Burn Slow - Ro James
11. W.E.T - Paloma Ford
12. You Never Show Your Love - Jessy Lanza
13. Belong to you - Sabrina Claudio
14. About You - Xxyyxx
15. Cold Sweat - Tinashe
16. Energy - Iman Omari
17. Ooh Nah Nah - SIR ft. Masego
18. Teenage Fever - Drake
19. Blood Sweat Tears - Harper
20. Flesh - Miguel
Tips, Facts, and Examples
When you masturbate don't make having an orgasm your main focus. It will only frustrate you. Just enjoy playing with yourself, and making yourself feel good. It's all about growth and learning what makes your body quiver. So the first time you dive you, you may not reach a climax, but you will feel good. So be sure to just let your mind relax and enjoy the simple pleasures you are able to bring to your body. Think of things that do relax you, maybe have a glass of wine beforehand, roll one up, read, take a bubble bath.
There are times I masturbate and purposely don't allow myself to cum, because I don't want my body to get accustomed to the sensations of my vibrator and fingers to reach an orgasm. Which is something common that happens to frequent "masturbators"(men and women). If you masturbate and easily cum from it every time, it will more than likely be difficult for you to orgasm with your partner because your body has become accustomed to climaxing from masturbating. So your goal shouldn't always be to squirt and cum all over the place, just enjoy the moment.
Say it with me.... "TO HAVE A GOOD TIME!"
Foreplay for women starts with the brain. Try to have sexy, sensual, erotic thoughts. Not only during your session, but all throughout your day. Briefly watch a porn clip during your lunch break (Or whenever), send a naughty pick to your boo, rub on your pussy though your panties, eat certain aphrodisiacs, or randomly caress your breast.
About 50% of women cannot achieve an orgasm through vaginal penetration. So it's OK if you simply just focus on your clitoris, and you don't dig in deep. Rub everywhere until you find the area that most excites you.You can pinch areas, pull, rub in circular motions, up and down, use 1 finger, 3, 4, or all 5. You can go super fast, or seductively slow.
It takes at least 5-7 minutes for a woman to even have the opportunity to have an orgasm. Take your time, and allow at least 20 minutes to get you to reach a climax. I like quick sessions just to give me the sensation of a climax, I like to reach a peak and then stop, something also known as edging.
Use a pillow to prop your ass up to better vaginally masturbate with your fingers, or a dildo. This also helps you find your G-Spot ( G-Spots will be an entirely different blog post coming soon). I like to use my middle, and ring finger, but when I watch porn I realize that almost every other woman uses her middle and index finger. So find what works best for you.
Don't feel like you are only suppose to masturbate in your bed. That's dumb! My favorite is on the couch, because it allows me to better sit upright/slightly slouched giving me better angle down my canal.
Don't be afraid to be loud! Moan, scream, bring yourself to the edge, shout curse words, be extra, do it all!
If you are uncomfortable using your hands, my other favorite is using a detachable shower head. THIS IS HEAVEN!! I put it on the speed where the water is coming from the center circle on full speed.
Or throw that pussy on the sink, and let the faucet run over your clit on high! Anything works!
I know some people who even use vegetables like carrots, and cucumbers, I don't know how I feel about all that. Whatever floats your boat though!
Rather you are a massive creamer or dramatic squirter, put a towel down so that you don't withhold yourself because you are afraid to make a mess. Let go and be free! Clean up afterwards.
As soon as you feel the sensation to ejaculate, your canal begin to pulsate, and your body jumps and quivers. Remove the fingers from your pussy and rapidly rub on your clit, or let go completely and try to keep pulsating your walls. Doing kegels will help you pulsate your walls stronger. The longer you are able to clench your pussy walls while you cum, the longer it'll last.
If you feel the sensation to pee building up inside you, just release it and see what happens. Most women miss out on their opportunity to squirt because they think they about to pee. It definitely takes time and foreplay to really release a female ejaculate so take your time warming up. Once you are warm, I need you to go H.A.M! :-)
Tip: Learn to FUCK YOUR FINGERS!
While masturbating I like to taste my juices often. I continuously place my fingers in my mouth and back to my pussy to provide more lubrication while I'm warming up.
My other favorite thing to do is smack my clit, or slap my dildo on it. Something about the smacking feels so good on my clit.
Give it a try, I even do it with real dicks lol. Smack it right on your pussy, fast and hard.
If you aren't having sex at least 2-3 times a week, you should be masturbating. It's good for the heart! I once read this in a book, so it's factual!
Let me know how your session goes!
See Ya Soon...