Is Your Vag Happy?

If you're anything like any other woman in the world, you have a moody ass vagina. Sometimes she's chillin', and then sometimes she is real extra; doing the absolute most.  From periods, bacterial infections, yeast infections, sweaty fat cats, to irritated odors, and itches. A vagina can be a part time job to take care when you haven't mastered her right. Not only that, but she needs attention. Rather it be from a man, your fingers, or a toy. The vagina is needy. I have finally figured out how to make mine happy. Don't get me wrong, I'm no gynecologist, or expert. However, you may experience similar problems as myself, and through a ton of experience, experiments, trial and error, and Pinterest; I'm ready to share my insight. 

Let me just say... Vegans probably have the best pussy. I'm no vegan, but I know when I'm eating right, no meat, no dairy, no junk food; my vagina is so succulent, refreshing and it just taste like sweet water flavored with maybe some purple grapes. so if you want a well balanced PH vagina simply just eat better it makes a hell of a difference. No more fast food, fried food, chips, and soda. Your vagina can taste whatever is consumed by your mouth.

First and foremost let me confess that I used to be the Queen of bacterial infections. I switch soaps, dicks, or laundry detergent and my vag is acting like a fucking toddler. So I needed to find a consistent home remedy to bring my PH levels back to normal. No more annoying doctor visits for me.

Obviously consult with you Obstetrician Gynecologist/primary care doctor before following any of my at home remedies. What works for one, may not work for another. Research other options, or do your own thing. These are simply suggestions from my experience. 

Remedy number 1! GARLIC!! (Yeast Infection) Sounds crazy right? Im sure it does, a wise reader called it "vampire poison" lol. Well, here's the thing. Garlic is magically known for killing yeast (in the bread baking world). So why not shove it up my twat!? Now I have only had one yeast infection in my life, so I wasn't sure if the symptoms I was experiencing was bacteria or yeast. However I decided to give it a shot anyway. One would think it's crazy, or it'll burn, or create more vaginal issues. Honestly,  after I take it out and thoroughly rinse my vagina in the shower; my vagina is odorless, discharge-less, and simply not irritated. It felt brand new! That's when I leave it in all night. If you don't do it at night you risk having to taste the strong garlic flavor in your mouth. I don't know about you, but I get a little weirded out knowing that the garlic in my vagina can be tasted in my mouth. I feel this works better for early yeast infections. When you feel yeasty symptoms what you're gonna wanna do depending on your situation is make a few slices along side the garlic clove and just push it in, as deep as you can. You can leave it in for as little as an hour or as long as 8 hours. However fucked up your vagina is, determines the how long you want to keep it in. There have been times I've only done it for 45 minutes and I'll be good. Give it a try, I promise you won't die. It won't be hard to take out either, and I swear my pussy is deep!

Are you listening? Because my next remedy is the best. Works like a charm!

Remedy number 2! Apple Cider Vinegar! We all know about Bragg's Organic Apple Cider Vinegar. If not, here it is. I can vouch and say other cheap brands do not get the job done. So just go ahead and buy this beauty.

This home remedy will have your vagina juicier, tighter, and fresher than ever! (Quick Story Time) The first time I tried this; I had to take my new and improved vagina for a test drive. So, I call up my boo Ryan. Hit him with the "Come fuck me" text, so he knew I was bout business, no games. For testers, I run my two fingers across my vulva and bring my natural juices to my nose to make sure I don't smell of vinegar. Nothing. I do it again to coat my entire fingers with secretion, and I smell it again. It smelled like water. Pure, alkaline water. I was geeked! I wanted to lick my own... you get the picture. Any who, Ryan comes over and it's a bunch of conversation, listening to music, and rubbing on my soft melanin skin. Four play, that is making my pussy WET! Now I normally automatically get wet, it doesn't take much. But this time I could feel my juices creating bubbles as it throbbed eager for penetration. Long story short, he went inside me I could feel every single vein he had on his dick rub against my walls. I was so wet, splats were splashing everywhere; and I didn't even cum yet. He couldn't stop mentioning how tight and wet I was. He had to hit me with the "Don't move" so he could hold back his cum. It was great. Fucking great. He was inside me like, it was his birthday and I just gave him the best damn present of his life. That was the day he fell in love.

This is what you do: Simply soak a tampon with all apple cider vinegar (you can dilute it if you just want to adjust your PH slightly). Shove it deep inside of you, be sure to place a panty liner in your panties because it will leak. You can either do it at night or during the day. Once you take it out, thoroughly rinse and wash your vagina with water. It'd be best to have that fancy shower head that squirts at high speed, that you can just aim right in your vagina canal. Then you continue to cleanse yourself as normal. You can do this as many times as you need to get you just right. Don't be surprised when a n**** try to cuff you after doing this.

I've had men eat me out of hours because how good I taste. My current boo has actually fallen asleep eating my pussy because it's so great. But I don't wanna brag.  But note that his face smelled like nothing when he woke up lol

** additional note** You can use peroxide as well. Equal parts with water, soak tampon and shove it in. Follow the same steps as the apple cider vinegar. The apple cider vinegar is more work to clear the vinegar smell, but peroxide is no additional work at all. Feel free to Google this suggestion, I know I did before putting peroxide in my vagina. 

Remedy number 3! For all my girls who like to get their pussy beat up, and endure 8 hours worth of sex ( more than likely by a man with Henny Dick). Then this remedy is for you. I hate having a sore, sensitive, tender vagina after having sex all night. It hurts to wipe, wear panties, walk, laugh, everything. So here is what you do. Light some candles, and/or incense, play some relaxing music, and get in the tub. That's not it! In the tub you will want to add:

  • 5 Lavender tea bag - Will help add relaxation, and restore balance to your body.

  • 1 cup of honey - Will detoxify your vagina

  • 1 cup of lemon juice - to refresh your vagina

Epsom salt is obviously a known remedy as well. Some times lavender isn't correlated to relaxation for some folks, if that's the case just use green tea bags instead.

Now that you have 3 easy home remedies that will make your vagina feel like a million bucks. Here is another way to make your vag happy.

MASTURBATION! Get in control of your body!

So many people are scared to touch, or pleasure themselves. I think a woman needs to know how to please herself before any man can ever actually satisfy her. You must know first that there are 4 ways you can orgasm. 

  1. Clitoral orgasm - Stimulation to the clit. Invest in a great vibrator, with different speeds and vibration patterns to really figure out which works best for you. There are some intensities that will be overwhelming, and some that will be just right. You'll have fun figuring it out and trying new speeds, that a tongue just cannot match. I'm addicted to mine, I use it about 3-9 times a day.

  2. Vaginal orgasm - Not many woman have been able to locate their G-Spot. However, when it happens you'll be addicted to whichever man (or woman) has blessed you with that experience. You can locate it yourself, at the right angle, and with the right force. When you feel a softly firm surface with ripples when you're deep inside your hole; begin to flicker your finger quick and hard. Don't stop until you feel a build up, that surface will become more firm and sensitive. Which bring me to number 3.

  3. Blended orgasm -  When you get the G-spot going, begin to rub on your clit. Together the two orgasm at the same damn time will send your body into a spasm. It's mind blowing. The best of both worlds. I'm a "squirter" which some people just don't believe in, but I have analyzed my squirt to get a better idea of what exactly this fluid was. I smelled it, tasted it, and actually observed it; it does not look, smell, or taste like urine ( clear that rumor up now) And it doesn't give me the same sensation when I pee. It feels like my uterus just opened a valve and let everything out, making me weak and light. I cannot squirt on demand, it takes a special kind of guy. 

  4. Multiple orgasm - Simple, just don't stop! When you're being fucked by your boo, and you're about to cum, don't let him stop. You can even begin to rub your clit, while he's hitting your G-spot, and you'll be showered with back to back orgasms. Don't be afraid of the sensation! Let it all out. Multiple orgasms is where you have those weak legs, let feels like you've been on the stair masters for 5 hours.

Start with simply getting comfortable with your body, enjoying your alone time, and knowing what works best for you. 

I will be posting a more in depth post about orgasms, so stay tuned!

Last but definitely not least, my fat cat girls! In areas where thick thighs and fat cats reside, there will be moisture, sweat, and discomfort. Simply just massage coconut oil between the creases, folds, and crevices of your middle area. Do not put it inside your vagina, just around it, and even on your thighs. Not only will it no longer sweat, but your thighs won't painfully rub together! I love coconut oil, you can literally use it for EVERYTHING! 

Now if you want to know specific ways to create these orgasms, send me a message. I will be glad to add to your vag being happy! 


These statement has not been evaluated by the FDA. My advice is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any diseases. If you are still unable to have an orgasm after reading this, I am not liable. 


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